There’s really no winning with these fruit-picking neighbors. Dudes are just totally indignant.

I walked up on this guy taking my figs and there was a wicker basket on the ground by one of the trees. So I took the basket and started walking off. And he got incensed! He can take my fruit but I can’t take his basket?

Here is an English summary for those who don’t know French or stream video. Although dumb-looking facial expressions are sort of an International language.

He tries to explain that he didn’t know who the trees belonged to despite the huge orange building that stands by these trees. Obviously, the basket analogy went over his head.

He also tries to justify his action by saying that he’s been stealing the fruit here for years.

He asked what I expected of him and I explained that I wish people would at least ask for permission before romping through our fruit trees. So he eventually slows down and asks for permission. And I kindly give him back the kilo+ of figs he had collected. He then asks if he can pick more and I say that he can take what’s already picked but if he wants to pick more he should do us a favor by bringing some to us. This too seems to upset him greatly.

He complains that he has no fruit trees at his home and that is why he takes ours. I ask him if he has any furniture I can borrow when he’s not using it. Also, this is apparently not comparable in the man’s mind.

He then marches off. I ask him his name and he says it’s Rodriguez Garcia. Either that’s a pseudonym or he’s actually named after the inventor of the laryngoscope.  Either way, it’s the perfect place to end this story.

Epilogue – I followed him off the property and he went to my neighbor’s vines. Upset that I was following him, he asked me if these fig trees in the distance belonged to me too. I said they don’t belong to me, but they belong to somebody. And that upset him too. I really wish I hadn’t given him any of the fruit back. Such a jerk.